THE SPLENDOUR AND THE FEAR OF ULTIMATE KNOWLEDGE


It is this ambition that has brought me to my present predicament, Truly is it stated that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. But less well known is the understanding that one might need to learn/ to pause at the borders of certain kinds of knowledge, and consider carefully if the expansion of knowledge crossing that border implies is an insight, an influx that the mind can comfortably accommodate. Can the mind sit comfortably with something that transcends its own categories of understanding? Can the mind be stretched to the point of implosion or of losing the tension, the balance between inner and outer space that ensures its internal coherence?

Perhaps writing will enable me to place this experience in context, allow the mind to organise into categories what it has undergone but has no ideas or words for, I have given up trying to achieve that purely through my deliberate efforts. Perhaps the natural resilience of my mind will do it for me. If that fails, perhaps you will find that I have ceased to be, my history no more, all memory of me lost to the world, the universe absent of my history.

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